2007 Results Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2007
Gerald began — but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash — to pee.
— Jim Gleeson Madison, WI
Oh, it’s so very bad, but it hurts so good. It’s worth a read at the link above there, if you really want some cringe-worthy fun. There’s lots more.
(The usual trivia: The contest is named after Bulwer Lytton, who opened his 1830 novel, "Paul Clifford," with the immortal words, "It was a dark and stormy night.")