A surprising evolution

Hello there, my dear Imaginary Readers,

Had enough of my "politics" kick lately?  Yeah, me too.  I think I’ve said most of what I needed to say…until the next time my GOP-ocracy meter pegs.  I’ve long since realized that there are two very important reasons why the American people haven’t really woken up yet.

One reason is sheer, passive complacency.  Folks’ll get all worked up about Britney Spears showing on a music awards show just how far she’s fallen…but can’t be bothered to take to the streets when ‘inalienable human rights’ have been thoroughly ‘alienated’ and left bleeding in a gutter somewhere.

The other is that the news media, which could be doing as Ed Murrow did during the 1950s and actually reveal some truths, instead all too often falls for the ‘either-or’ mode of reporting — where the White House says lies (for example) and the Dems call them on it, and the story is reported as if both sides’ arguments have equal validity.  Or else, like with Fox News, it’s outright propaganda for the radical Republicans.

Anyway… maybe the American people will wake up, maybe they’ll hit the snooze bar and go back to dreaming of the next American Idol.  Enough on that.

As some of you might recall, after last year’s "Soul University" program here at the Shiva Sai Mandir Ashram in Penukonda, India, my partner Stephanie and I decided to stay on.  This year, there are two different programs being offered and in a different mode than last time.  Now, it’s trimesters of three months on and one month between, and we’re now about halfway through the first trimester.  Two choices offered either a ‘knowledge’ program or a ‘sadhana‘ program (which means "spiritual practice", most commonly referring to meditation practices).

We went for sadhana.  And the surprising ‘evolution’ of which I spoke in the post title is how the practice of meditation has changed for me.

For many, many years, I kept saying that I knew that meditation would be good for me and that I really ought to find at least 15-20 minutes a day to do it.  Never did, or when I did try, it never stuck.  (By the way, Christian folks wandering by?  When you pray, it is the same thing as meditation.  Really!  Saying prayers and quieting our minds so that we can hear the voice of God.)

Later, in the middle part of 2005, my friends & teachers (and fellow students of Sri Kaleshwar) Alx and Jonathan told me that I really ought to meditate twice a day for 15-20 minutes, morning and night.  Especially as a remedy for stress and insomnia.

Did I?  Barely, and not at all consistently.  It took me months before — with huge resignation and resistance — I started on one of the first sadhana programs available to neophytes, the methods taught in Swami’s book, "Gifts of Shirdi Sai Baba."  (See Sri Kaleshwar’s website for more information, including how to order it if you’re interested.)  It was a fairly long mantra, requiring 101 repetitions (one mala) and done at the same time every day, preferably while outside, for 41 days.  Given my schedule, the only time I could really be sure of was midnight…and so I did it, also along with the second mantra in the book.  When I first started, I stumbled so badly, it took close to an hour…and man, did I fight it.  Felt impossible, too, and like the effort took forever.

Since then, I’ve done many 41 day mantra processes, with varying requirements.  Some for 101 days or more.  Some simply requiring a given number of malas during a specific period of time.  All kinds of different requirements and conditions (called ‘dikshas’).  Occasionally, I’d have to go pure vegetarian and abstain from alcohol (in fact, I’m just such a diksha right now, and likely will be until Navaratri, the festival of Mother Divine… so no mayo (contains eggs) on my cheese & tomato sandwiches, and no wine when I go to Bangalore next week… *boo-hoo*).

Sometimes I’ve had almost no sadhana requirements at all…although fairly early on, many of us students were urged always, every night before bed, to think on our mothers and fathers and give heartfelt thanks to them (even if we did not like them).  And every Full and New Moon, there are specific prayers to do.

Once, I was involved with a thing were I was literally meditating on one mantra for nearly 14 hours a day, sometimes more.

I find that I particularly like meditations that are time-based, rather than counting a specific number of repetitions (japa) — those are the ones where I can sometimes hit a super, super deep trance state.  A place of utter stillness and Silence, and from which I occasionally emerge with interesting insights.

Lately, as part of my current program of meditation, I was assigned four hours’ worth to do each day, in two 2-hour sessions.  I literally complained / critiqued that I felt it wasn’t enough.  That it was too easy.  Ain’t that a hoot?

This is the evolution of which I speak: Starting out as someone who couldn’t even make herself meditate 15-20 minutes a day…and a little over two years later, I’m finding four hours to be hardly enough to satisfy.

My advice to those of you who may be struggling with this, and trying to learn to meditate is just to give it time — and to stick with it.  Believe me, it really does get easier…not to mention, a little bit addictive.

cheers,
Becca