A rainy Sunday morning in Penukonda…

Greetings friends, drive-by browsers, and my ever faithful Imaginary Readers–

As noted in the post title, it’s a rainy Sunday morning here at the ashram.  I’ve no idea if this is usual for this time of year or not, but until now all the precipitation I’ve experienced here has always been either at night or late afternoon/early evening thundershowers.

It’s rather nice, really, because the overall activity level around here is much quieter as a consequence.  Also, yesterday was the full moon, and I think everybody’s recovering from that.  Also, from big party thrown last night to celebrate an important someone’s b’day (sorry, can’t say who).  Fireworks, sweets, music… alas, I couldn’t really enjoy it much though, because yesterday was an 8.0-9.5 day on the migraine scale.

Yeah, still have the headaches.  Today’s much better though, maybe 3-4 at most, and I’ll take anything I can get.

By the by, a big shout-out to my occasionally visiting "69 wives" — Jewelz, Veek, Holly, Mare, and M, in particular.  Hey!  Love you gals — so sorry I’m bandwidth-constrained, else I’d have remained on the List That Shall Not Be Named.  Hope you drop by again.  I’ve not forgotten my promise to try to post more regularly.

But I have to admit, between the busy-ness of staying up on my studies for the university program, the ‘power-journey’ trips, my occasional seva duties — and lately, the sheer debilitation of the unrelenting migraines — I just haven’t been terribly much in the mood.  I think all my posts would’ve been long rants and complaints about how bad my head hurt and that I was contemplating self-inflicted trepanning.  (Just kidding folks… mostly I just wanted it over with.)

One thing is that unless something comes along to change my plans (something one must always consider when on this spiritual path with this particular Swami), I’m heading to Bangalore tomorrow for a few days.  Just to relax, do some shopping, and generally have an entire room to myself.  That should also give me a little time to write more about my inner experiences, maybe compose another poem comparable to "The Candle Critic" (which I actually think was one of my better works).  True, I’ve been writing every day in my private "morning pages" journals — but that’s private stuff.  I’m talking about blog posts…and there, I have to walk a fine line between stuff I can talk about freely versus stuff I don’t have permission to disclose.

About this latter, because I don’t want to pique curiousity unfairly:  Firstly, context is everything.  A lot of things just don’t make sense to discuss unless you’re actually here, learning with this particular Guru.  If I talk about the specifics of his teachings, I run the risk of misrepresenting his words, his meaning, adding my own ‘masala’, as they say here.  As I’ve written in other posts, if you want to learn about this path, check out the Teachings sections on Sri Kaleshwar’s website.  Also check out the available books and transcripts.

The only comment I feel qualified and permitted to make is that the university starts with those teachings, and goes far deeper — as any year-long course of study would.

My only personal regret — aside from the migraines lately?  That I haven’t really had time since early August for super-deep meditations in the Baba temple, as I would like.  A couple opportunities, but it hasn’t been a regular thing.  I think my spiritual connection to the Old Man (as I like to call Baba) has suffered somewhat as a result.

So… a few observations, before I head inside to do some of my daily japa (mantras using a 108-bead lotus seed mala):

Your humble blogger has become decidedly two-toned since arriving in India.  Because I wear punjabi dresses most of the time (think long white tunic with loose white pants), my arms, face, and feet have become more tanned than they’ve been in years.  I’d no idea my skin could get this dark, really.  But my torso, legs, and the place under my Timex wristwatch?  Still the old fair-skinned Irish lily-white.

Oops, more later.  Raining hard, gotta go.

About Becca

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2 Responses to A rainy Sunday morning in Penukonda…

  1. rand says:

    True, I’ve been writing every day in my private “morning pages” journals — but that’s private stuff. I’m talking about blog posts…and there, I have to walk a fine line between stuff I can talk about freely versus stuff I don’t have permission to disclose.

    It seems part of being on a spiritual path is truthfulness. I ran into this same conundrum and decided that anonymity was a (partial) solution.

    There’s something about writing out thoughts and emotions, your mind’s story, that helps to cleanse and get you ready for the day. It’s too bad your readers, real and imaginary, can’t see the full discharge of your morning pages.

  2. Becca says:

    Hello – and welcome, Rand!

    I think your anonymity solution is perfectly reasonable, and don’t see any ethical or moral problems with it. Seems like a good compromise, and it gives you the freedom to say things that you might not if your name and location were attached to it.

    Me, I did go that route at one time, one phase of my life. Eventually though, it no longer made sense and I went public.

    I agree that the spiritual path does require brutal honesty — and I strive for that, even if I do not always succeed. But with that in mind, I also have to admit that a part of me not only doesn’t mind if people know who I am (name & fame), but I’m also hoping one day to land some serious book deals. *lol*

    I couldn’t possibly put my morning pages here, however. It’s true that sometimes I tongue-in-cheek refer to “future historians” who deconstruct my private journals in an effort to understand me — but a lot of what I write is purely brain-dump material. It wanders, has no good strucutre, occasionally poor grammar, and I have the freedom to say bad things about people for whom I actually care deeply.

    The very existence of an actual audience would by the observer-effect alone cause changes in my words. That make sense?

    Again, welcome. Nice blog you have over there, by the way, and thanks so much for the referring link. Look for yours in my own list soon, as I’m intrigued by your style.