Back to more pleasant topics (more Kaleshwar adventures)

Hello again, friends & Imaginary Readers.  As some of you may have noted, there was another brief gap in this blog’s frequent entries.

This past Friday, the 26th, my partner and I headed south to see our Swami again.  That night, he was to give a talk at the Agape Church of Religious Science, in Culver City (Los Angeles).  (Agape bills itself as a transdenominational church — welcoming and supporting all faiths.)  We’d thought we might be taking a friend with us, but she couldn’t make it.  Just as well though, because it gave Stephanie and me some quality time to talk during the drive down and back.

Ordinarily, the trip might be about 5.5-6 hours, but we got stuck in LA holiday traffic, making it impossible to get together with friends of ours for a pre-talk dinner.  No matter, we checked into our hotel at the airport, crashed for a few hours, then headed over to Agape.

It can be strange at times, seeing friends you know from other places in a locale that is unfamiliar.  We met up with friends and acquaintances from the SF Bay area, from Laytonville, and even some all the way from the ashram in India.

As happened during Swami’s last visit, where I saw him in SF last November, the evening started with Dr. Clint Thompson (Nityaananda) describing Sri Kaleshwara — his early experiences with this young Indian saint, the things he saw, the teachings and so on.  Later, when Kaleshwara himself spoke, he started with a slide show which chronicled the early years of the Penukonda ashram and various holy places visited in India.

Once again, because I’d seen the slide show before, but without Kaleshwara’s narration, I actually grew a little homesick for the ashram.  Amazing that a place could do that to me after less than a month’s stay, but there it is.  I didn’t tear up as I did in Laytonville, but I could feel that soft ache and a sense of wanting to go home.  (Side note:  On one of slides depicting ‘ashram life’, yours truly appears.  Stephanie happened to notice me and my little blue folding chair, on the garden lawn.)

As with other talks, Kaleshwara’s themes are simple and straightforward.  First of all, he says each and every one of us is a divine soul, that we carry within us a bit of God.  That our biggest problems are that we get caught up in the illusion (maya) that is the thing we call ‘reality’, and forget ourselves.  We lose our way, develop addictions, we hurt each other — and to no good purpose.

"Life is short, make it sweet" is one of his latest catch-phrases (he may have had it earlier, but he repeated it several times in the talks I’ve seen this last week).  He also stressed the importance of having true friends.  Not just people who like us because we have money, fame, or good looks, but rather the kind of loyal friend who would literally die for us.  Who, if we called them at 4am in big trouble wouldn’t hang up or ask why, but would simply say, "Where are you?  How can I help?"  That sort of thing.  (The example here is my own, not his.)

He also says that while we’re here, we should try to be as happy as possible, and to make those around us happy, too.  Thus, for example, he’s big on volunteering and service.  Frequently, as part of any sort of spiritual ‘deal’ one might make with him for some favor or other, he’ll ask in return that the person go serve in a hospital, nursing home, or homeless shelter.  To give to the poor, the sick, and anyone in pain or in need.

Another of his themes is he isn’t interested in having followers.  He thinks that one of the big mistakes being made by the spiritual masters in the world is they aren’t creating new masters.  There are fewer and fewer of them because they become a master — and then don’t teach.  Kaleshwara’s goal is to make masters of his students, so that they can go forth and heal and to teach, and make more masters in turn.  He often quotes scripture, where Jesus says that his followers will go forth and do even greater things than he did.  Sri Kaleshwara’s goal is the same: To have students who go on to be even more powerful healers and miracle-workers than he is.

Mainly, he says to learn, to do your duty, take care of people.  Then you’ll feel the love, the prema.  And from that comes the bliss.  Today is yours, forget yesterday, think on tomorrow.  Try to figure out why you’re here in this lifetime, what you’re supposed to do.  And follow spiritual processes and practices, to keep from getting too bogged down in illusion, the leelas.

There was lots more, but that’s a quick summary.  Afterwards, we departed for our hotel, very tired.  The following day, we were to have had breakfast with some friends, but due to a scheduling problem this ended up being cancelled.  Ah well… it gave your humble authoress and her partner a chance to talk.  Then, we left the hotel for the Malibu hills, where Kaleshwara was to give another talk and a new group process.  Turned out we were super-early, so we took the opportunity to meditate for a time, then actually got to sit in on another group’s meeting with him.

Eventually, the rest of the people arrived, and I’d estimate the crowd at around 200 or so.  (I’m not good at estimating crowds, but I’d say that’s in the ballpark.)  Again, Kaleshwara spoke on what spiritual ‘processes’ were, and what they were supposed to accomplish.  In essence, it’s a thing that involves body, mind, heart, and soul, and intended to work on all those levels and help bring some tangible benefit.  Sometimes it can be the burning off of negative karma, removing internal blocks and problems, and to open the heart and soul to the boundless possibilities and energies of the divine.

He spoke on the danger when fear guides our actions, how it is one of the prime sources of all the trouble in the globe these days.  How you can’t hang onto money or health, because they go away — that we seem not to value that which we can never get back:  Lost time.  Lost opportunities.

So, as I’d mentioned in a previous post and was expected here, Kaleshwara did give us a process to do.  Mantras (prayers) to do over a period of time, certain dietary restrictions for the same amount of time (no meat, no alcohol… not a problem for me as I was halfway there already…and once at the ashram next month, those things won’t be available anyway), and a few other details.  Plus a promise that if we stuck with it, in time he’d come back again to complete it for us.  I can’t get into precise details as that’s a matter between him as our teacher and us as his students.  Our deal, as it were.

Funny thing:  In leaving for India next month, I really didn’t have much reason to return at any given point in the near future.  However, both the Laytonville and LA processes that we started with him this past week might just set the timing for a visit to the States sometime this coming autumn.  We’ll see.  Those of us in India may ask him to complete our process while there, which he’s been known to do.

Now, some few of you might be wondering if I saw or experienced anything unusual, since I did mention there was a miracle that I didn’t get to witness while in Laytonville, because he performed it in front of a crowd while I was elsewhere, tending a puja fire.  That particular miracle involved the manifestation of jewelry — rings and whatnot — given to those who were there for special healings.

Well, my friends, for the first time since Kaleshwara manifested a gemstone in his hand right in front of me, I saw… well, something miraculous. 

After he gave us the process, there was another fire puja (ceremony), with the usual chanting, offerings to the fire, etc.  There came a time when he was standing next to the fire, and from where I sat, he stood silhouetted against the partly overcast, hazy late afternoon sky.  I was to the southwest of him, with the sun going down behind me, so the light on him slowly turned golden in hue.  Nothing special there, just looked really nice.  He was leading us in a long, complex mantra, one or two words at a time.  He’d call the Sanskrit word, and we’d all respond.

At some point during the lengthy chanting, I became aware that something really started looking strange around him.  Due to the crowd and my position in it, sitting, I could only see him from the waist up.  He was dressed in white, with a yellow scarf belt and another tied around his head.  As I watched, I began seeing a shimmering pattern of light and shadow in the air around him, centered mainly around his head and the coconut he held.  The motion suggested something pouring towards or into him, from every direction.  The light & shadow had a three-dimensional quality, a sense of depth, and was strongest and most visible close by to him.  There was also a visible gap between him and this moving pattern, about 3 inches worth where all I could see was clear, vivid pure blue.  (Mind, this couldn’t have been the sky, due to the overcast haze.)  In all, I’d say the pattern extended maybe 4-5 feet from him in all directions before it faded into invisibility…and yet I got the feeling it actually went much farther, probably encompassing the entire crowd, if not more.

I wish I could describe it better, but words fail me.  If I had to take a totally wild stab at what might’ve been happening, perhaps I was seeing all the negative karma from everybody there, being sucked towards Kaleshwara — and being destroyed or obliterated by his own aura or spirit.  Again, this is totally a guess on my part, I truly have no idea what I actually saw.

And that wasn’t all I saw either.  I didn’t mention the sparks yet.  Tiny circular lights, looking as if they held patterns in them too fine for me to glimpse, each appearing to be about an inch in diameter, zipping around.  I couldn’t look directly at them, because whenever I tried, they’d move too fast to follow.  I’d estimate I saw a few dozen of these at any given time.  It was as if the sparks were shepherding the patterns of shadow and light toward him.  From what I’ve been told, I’m pretty sure I was seeing angels.  Honest-to-goodness angels.  Wow.

At its most intense, with the lights and the moving pattern, I felt as if he was more real, more "actual" than the rest of us.  As if we were the illusion and he the only present manifestation of the true reality.  Like we existed in our four dimensions (3 space and 1 time), but he existed in more of them — and I’d somehow tapped into glimpsing behind that gauzy curtain, to see how things really are.  It was daunting and a little scary, but deeply honoring.  I felt insanely lucky to see this.

Whatever I was seeing, it lasted 15-20 minutes, maybe more.  I’m sure I looked like a fool though, with my mouth hanging half open.  Eventually, he finished with the group chant, and had us chant a Sky mantra while he sat.  I literally couldn’t take my eyes off him, because even then I could still see the pattern — although it had begun to fade somewhat.  I know I had in my mind the thoughts, "Did I just see what I think I did?  Is this really happening?"

Sai Kaleshwara looked my way then, and nodded.  Nothing huge, just four nods.  Swallowing, I nodded back.

Later, after we’d offered our flowers, incense and coconuts to the fire and began circling the firepit, I saw him standing to one side — for once, alone (usually he’s mobbed by people).  As I walked by, I put my hand to my heart and, looking towards him, gave a half-bow to say thanks.  He inclined his head in acknowledgement.  By time I got around the fire again, already he had a small crowd surrounding him.

Eventually, I was done.  Stephanie and I found each other, and made our way back to the car.  Almost exactly at sunset, we hit the road for the long drive home.

An interesting side note:  Ever since last November, when I saw him in Laytonville, and despite my having been to the ashram, and seeing him at the ashram and at several talks, my interactions with him have involved almost no direct words at all.  Last week in Laytonville, I saw him on our way out of the temple building Tuesday night and said, "Thank you, Swami" — he responding, "You’re welcome."  Other than those five words, our every interaction since then has been through shared glances and nods, or second-hand through others, like when we got the enthusiastic "thumbs up" to lease the apartment at the ashram.

Would I enjoy more of a conversation or interaction directly with him?  You bet — who wouldn’t?  But it’s strange that I don’t feel deprived or a lack, any particular attachment toward it.  Or, as I put it to Stephanie the other day, one of my goals is to be a "hassle-free" student for him.  Here’s hoping.

Until next time…