In a story about Bill Maher’s interview with Senator Chuck Hagel, the retiring Republican Senator from Nebraska responds thus:
The Raw Story | GOP Sen. Hagel: Republican Party hijacked by incompetence
"I’ve heard a lot of Republicans in the last year or so say ‘I want my party back,’" says Maher. "I imagine you’re somewhat in the same camp. Do you think the Republican party has been hijacked by incompetents and religious fanatics?"
"Oh, I think it’s been hijacked by incompetency," Hagel concedes. "I think that’s what has driven the Republican Party right off the cliff, and we are not who we say we are."
First of all, let’s take religious fanatics. Actually, no, there are very few actual religious fanatics in the Republican Party. Ever since the late 1970s, the GOP has pandered openly towards the fundamentalist right-wing types — in particular the Southern Baptists and the Evangelicals — but what have they actually delivered in terms of giving those folks what they want?
Bupkiss. No Constitutional amendment banning abortion. No laws declaring Christianity to be the official religion of America. Evolution continues to be taught in public schools. Gay rights and same-sex marriage are more socially acceptable these days than a generation ago — certain state laws notwithstanding. The pseudo-religious posturing exists only to "get out the base". That’s all. If the GOP actually delivered on these things, it’d energize the opposition and soon the fanatics would lose all their righteous enthusiasm…or else they’d demand even bigger concessions. Like maybe to make witch burnings legal again. (Why do you think Harry Potter makes ‘em go all bug-eyed and pop-veined? Getting those books out of libraries and onto bonfires is just the first tiny step for these folks.)
The whole Terry Schaivo debacle was intended to be a bone thrown to the restless fanatic hoardes — and in fact it bit the Repugs on the ass. Sure, that blatantly unConstitutional midnight law convinced even Mr. Bush to interrupt one of his many vacations to go back to DC to sign it, making a very small number of radical fanatics happy — and pissed off every other person in the country who feels that life-and-death decisions ought to be left to the individual and the family. Which would actually be an overwhelming majority of the people if you got a truly honest answer from them, including most of the fundamentalists.
Oh, to be certain, there are plenty of incompetents in the GOP — but they aren’t the ones who hijacked the party. Fact of the matter is, I am grateful for those bozos. Seriously! I am on-my-knees glad they’ve been hamstrung by the idiots, poltroons, drool-cups, wide-eyed Regent University GOPer-Zombies, and most of all for that willfully ignorant and incurious man in the White House who insists on being The Decider. Why? Because we can continue to count on him making tree-stump stupid, meat-headed Decisions(tm) — and who will keep on appointing people who in no way threaten his feelings of being superior over them. Feel all warm and fuzzy yet?
America’s "Dumb as a Bag of Hammers" Preznit doesn’t like smart or competent people, because they make him feel unhappy and all funny-tight in his bottom, and we can’t have that now, can we? The Stupid, the Screw-Ups, and the Sycophants — "Bring ‘em on!"
Can you imagine what would’ve happened, say, had the bullying, grasping, warmongering monomania had been wedded to the brilliance of a leader who really knew how to persuade, how to manipulate, and how to Get Things Done? And who surrounded himself with equally brilliant people who complimented his strengths and shored up his weaknesses? That is, a President actually in possession of a brain capable of learning new things — and having the driving desire to do so? THANK GOD, Mr. Bush prefers brush-clearing vacations over doing actual work!
No, the incompetents haven’t hijacked the party. What happened is the Other Guys came up with what they thought was a brilliant idea: "Let’s put a total nimrod in the Oval Office — and we’ll run everything from behind the scenes."
Their trouble is their Special Nimrod had his whole cadre of Buffoons, Lickspittles, Neophytes, and Morons to bring into government with him. You think even an Evil Genius like Cheney would’ve put a loser like Michael Brown in charge of FEMA? A man whose prior managerial experience consisted of an Arabian horse association? C’mon! That was all Bush!
Gonzales? Bush. Rumsfeld? Same thing — because Daddy Bush (41) hated him. Condi Rice? Bush. General Petreus? Bush (who never met a chickenshit ass-kisser he didn’t love to pieces). Rove was pretty much an idiot, too — he just happened to be ruthless at doing absolutely anything to win an election…or more importantly, to be declared the winner of an election, actual ballots and voters be damned.
Anyway, their Boob appointed more Boobs, who appointed more of the same, and so on and so on. So anyway — yes, the whole power structure of the GOP — and their control of the American government — was seriously compromised and infiltrated by incompetents.
But hijack? No — that implies an ability to get stuff done, which we know by definition a total dunderhead cannot do. They fuck up. It’s in their nature. That’s why, for example, a military victory in Iraq was so totally undone in such short order. The professional soldiers delivered a defeated foe…and Bush’s posse of poseurs did what they do best: Destroy everything remaining and leave it all in a smoking ruin. Oopsie-daisy!
They also have no desire ever to have the Iraq war done, because not only would that prove it was a totally jackassed idea in the first place, it would also shut off the sweet sugary teet of endless billion-dollar under-monitored defense appropriations. Taking a step back, the guys who truly hijacked the GOP were the Neocons — the guys who never went to war, who thought that America, as the world’s sole remaining superpower — needed to secure a large oil-producing country in the Middle East, and could do so easily. Guys like Cheney, Wolfowitz, and Pearle — the same guys who thought they could run everything through their puppet executive. Pax Americana, via a figurehead President — what could go wrong? (Um, everything…?)
These were also the autocrats and neo-fascists who thought they could undo not just the Constitution, but jurisprudence dating all the way back to the Magna Carta (Habeas Corpus, anyone?) through made-up terms like "Unitary Executive," "signing statements," "enemy combatants," "rendition," and "enhanced interrogation." They’re the ones who insist that a tortured prisoner cannot be allowed to appear in court, because that prisoner — innocent or guilty — will give away secrets in telling people how he was tortured.
As if we don’t already know too much about "waterboarding," "stress-positions," "aggressive questioning," and "sensory-deprivation." I honestly thought torture would finally break the camel’s back, but I must admit now that I totally underestimated the complete moral elasticity of these sick, uncaring, evil bastards.
But it was smart guys like David Addington who pushed the idea of having the White House counsel office and the Justice Department sign off on the legality of blatantly illegal, immoral acts. It just so happens that Gonzales & Crew couldn’t even get that right. Supposedly the more professional legal minds remaining in the Administration, few as they are, were so embarrassed at the shoddy work, mistaken conclusions, and ridiculously baseless legal opinions as to threaten resignation.
The GOP was also hijacked by outright crooks, swindlers, and con-men. Like the entire Alaska Congressional delegation selling not just their votes but their influence for pretty baubles, sweetheart real estate deals, and home renovations. Like Bush’s friend, Mr. Hunt, who in the middle of a war, is busily undermining American foreign policy by arranging private oil deals with the Kurds — much to the anger of their Sunni and Shia countrymen to the south. Like Rupert Murdoch, openly running a propaganda operation for the GOP, headlined by Fox News (sic). Like Halliburton, KBR, Blackwater, and all the other defense contractors committing outright fraud because nobody in the Defense Department is bothering to do proper audits anymore. These guys love having a no-bid war like Iraq going, because they get to bleed tens of billions straight out of the Treasury. Some twelve billion dollars in cold, hard cash — actual Ben Franklins — was literally airlifted to Iraq and now they can’t account for NINE BILLION of those dollars! These thieves and plunderers never ever want America to stop being at war, or to have a Congress that might pass sensible tax laws, balance the budget, and reinstate oversight and auditing on defense spending.
The GOP’s been hijacked by the corrupt, like Senators Dominici and Graham of New Mexico, blatantly interfering in the Justice department, trying to get a US Attorney fired because he wouldn’t file bogus voter fraud charges. By the former Senator DeLay, who tried to create a permanent GOP majority starting with manipulation of Texas districts. By the dozens of Republican pockets lined generously by the corrupt lobbyist, Abramoff. By the current crop of GOP cronies trying now to steal Electoral College votes by breaking up California’s ‘winner take all’ system (the system that exists in nearly every other state in the union) — even though anybody with a brain sees they would NEVER propose the same in any state the GOP usually wins — like Texas. By the guys who rig elections through fixed voting machines, voter purges, and outright manipulation of the electoral process, including the owner of Diebold, the maker of voting machines, who promised to deliver Ohio to Bush in 2004 (and by gum, he did!…along with disgraced former Ohio Secretary of State, Republican Blackwell).
Would you believe they even floated the idea of nominating Theodore Olsen to replace Gonzales as AG? The same guy behind the Florida 2000 recount cum electoral theft. He’s the one who argued that unsigned absentee ballots received after the deadline ought to be counted (funny how almost all of them were for Bush), whereas ballots cast using those faulty punch-cards ought to be disallowed unless absolutely pristine (and funny how most of those were for Gore). And in case some forget, Olsen was also deeply involved with "The Arkansas Project" — the "Slime Bill Clinton at ANY costs" campaign, funded heavily by billionaire oil man, Richard Scaife.
And, let us not forget the hypocrites, which actually tends to include all of the above. These are the homophobes voting against gay rights and same-sex marriage — while offering to pay $20 to blow some guy in a Florida rest stop. Or cosponsoring Constitutional amendments to ban gay marriage — while propositioning an undercover cop in an airport restroom. (Who knows how many times the whole toe-tapping / wide-stance thing actually worked for Senator Craig on his many cross-country flights?) Or a member of Congress, GOP Rep Mark Foley from Florida, literally stalking young male Congressional pages — while at the same time voting straight down the ticket against gay & lesbian civil rights. Or the Evangelical religious leaders like Ted Haggard, railing against the sin and wickedness of homosexuality — caught paying for both the services of a male prostitute and methamphetamine (hey, a two-fer!).
The guys who pass laws authorizing warrantless wiretapping — but who scream bloody murder when an FBI sting catches them accepting bribes. The big law-and-order types — until the indictments and convictions come, then they bitch endlessly about how unfair the system is, or how full of remorse they are.
The ones who say they promise to hold the Bush Administration accountable for the disaster in Iraq — and never once vote against the White House’s wishes. A guy, McCain, who was tortured and so has no excuse in not knowing that it’s like to suffer it — voting not only to authorize torture, but to let the White House and CIA keep it all hush-hush. Senator Specter from my former home state, Pennsylvania, promising over and over that he’s not only a moderate, but that he’ll hold Bush and his Justice department appointees accountable — yet never manages to do so when it actually might matter. Susan Collins and countless other Republican members of Congress promising to hold Bush accountable for Iraq, but who never, ever actually do so. More hypocrites.
And a President who says he’ll fire anyone involved with leaking the names of intelligence officers (Plame), but not only doesn’t follow through on this when it’s learned that Rove and Libby were the top perpetrators — he pardons the latter, who was convicted of lying to a grand jury about his having leaked the information. Liars and hypocrites all, not to mention traitors. That leak not only ended Valerie Plame’s career as a NOC helping to control nuclear weapon proliferation, they also risked the very lives of every contact she ever had.
The GOP is perfectly willing to impeach a sitting president for lying about a sexual indiscretion — and yet his successor has lied to Congress, lied at State of the Union addresses, lied to the American people on countless occasions (both directly and through proxies). He’s broken Federal law, violated treaties, and blatantly violated not just the Constitution but his oath of office to uphold, protect and defend the same, and to take care that all the laws of America are faithfully executed. Yet from the GOP, the silence is deafening. No criticism, not one peep of dissent. (Insert the sound of crickets chirping here…)
Senator John McCain seems to think it’s perfectly fine to say flat out that the millions of MoveOn.org members be "kicked out of the country," because they dared to question the veracity of one of Bush’s puppet generals. He actually said this! Kinda McCarthy-esque, don’t you think, folks? Remember, in the rise of all these movements, first the talk…then there’s the doing. To suggest that citizen dissenters should be deported is the very height of unAmericanism.
Senator Hagel, your GOP has been hijacked by criminals, hypocrites, homo-repressed perverts, warmongers, and fascist wannabes. It just happens that the incompetents among you have saved us, so far, from total ruin.
All Hail Commander Codpiece and his Battalions of Bumblers — because God only knows what people with smarts and ability could’ve accomplished, given the same goals…
Rant over,
Becca